Rated:
XXX
Category:
Anal
Ships: Check Inventory
Run Time:
103 mins
Studio:
VPL
Released:
1999,
VPL
Stock #:
45913D9
Format:
DVD
Number of Discs:
1
List Price: $19.95
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Puritan Video Magazine 9 DVD Movie Blog
Puritan Video Magazine 9 DVD Description: "Pool Shark: Story of a girl captivated by a pool shark.
"Furious French Lesson: A college girl gets extra credit in her French studies.
"Rectum Wrecker: Girl gets her rectum stretched on a road to Ensenada.
"Dear Puritan: More stories of perversions from our viewers.
"Metting in Manauga: Horny women gets analized on a yacht in Mexico."
Posted By Virginia Beaver, www.excaliburfilms.com 9/28/06 9:15 AM
Adult Video News Rating: AAA½
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| Roger's Rating: | |  |
Raincoaters rejoice, the Puritan Video Magazine series has found it´s way to DVD. The vignette style series brings hard-core porn with a twist to a medium dominated to this point by softer, couples porn. There is nothing soft about Puritan, and if you´re lucky enough to have a woman who digs this sort of off the wall (And admittedly, sometimes mildly offensive) smut, then count yourself lucky. I´m not sure why they picked volume nine to be the first DVD release, but I would wager it might have something to do with the smoking image of Tiffany Mynx on the cover. Knowing that she is going to be double donged on this disc is more than enough reason for me to be a little amped over the whole thing.
Kimi Gee leads things off as a girl with a thing for long sticks and hard balls. See, she has a thing for pool players, or at least one pool player. While watching Don Fernando, she gets clearly overheated and just has to have him. I don´t know about you, but too much of this woman´s helium laced voice gives me a more a headache than a hard-on. Still, she is an insatiable slut who is happy to let Don fuck her with a pool ball. Yes, a pool ball, shoved three quarters of the way into her shaved little cunny. Please, someone shove a dick in her mouth. The sucking starts, but for some reason instead of sucking his dick, the just drools all over herself. Wow, after such high expectations, here I am with nothing good to report at this stage. Wet blowjobs are fine, but slobber trails dripping down some girl´s chest is not my idea of sexy. Fear not, things pick up when Don bends her over the table and starts stuffing her shaved slit. One thing that can´t be denied is that Kimi is a willing and active little fuckbunny. Taking his cock in her ass makes Kimi even wilder. She fucks him RCA like there is some deep itch in her ass that only cock can scratch. Don finally blows a big was on her abused anus. This kind of sphincter stretching action is bound to please even the most callused stroker.
Molly Draker and Lila star in a scene directed by Rodney Moore. Concerned that her young student is not going to pass her French exam, Molly invites the blonde over for some special tutoring. I can´t be sure, but both of these women seem to be wearing bad wigs and neither of them is very pretty. Lila just doesn´t get it, and when the professor becomes frustrated with her lack of skills, she spanks her student. Nothing quite like watching a couple of ugly girls getting it on to cool your jets big time. A simple warning, both of these women are sporting super huge bushes, so if you like your lawns well trimmed, you might want to look the other way. Molly teaches Lila how to suck dick with a strap on and the homely little blonde does a more than adequate job. In fact, if you can get past the thick old growth these two have between their legs and the lack of facial charisma, they do hook up for a nice strap on assisted girl/girl fuck.
Max Hardcore takes the helm for a scene called ´Rectum Wrecker.´ He brings Don Fernando in to team up with Victoria Hill. They stand over a cliff, staring down at the twisted metal of a car wreck. After bad mouthing the deceased for a bit, Victoria gets down and starts sucking Don´s dick. You know, this chick isn´t very good looking either, but I like the outdoor sex overlooking the ocean. The problem is watching a guy like Don Fernando who has zero sexual charisma fuck a woman with little visual appeal is about as much fun as an all day insurance seminar. Plus, what the fuck is this dialog about ´My dick is not small like Pierre´s?´ Jesus, you mean they make them smaller than Don´s? (Sure they do, ever seen Ed Powers) More close up, hard-core anal sex to please the strokers in the crowd, but just not enough here for me to find it worth stroking over.
Jim Powers directs the ´Dear Puritan´ segment that starts smokin´ cover girl Tiffany Mynx. She watches as a pair of workers, Steve Hatcher and Jonathan Morgan, cleaning her yard. They take one look at her playing with her pussy and it´s a stampede into the house for the carnal carnival. Perfect as always, Tiffany drops to her knees and delivers a double blowjob that should be kept in a time capsule for future porn stars to study. Few women suck cock with such desperation in their eyes. It´s as if Tiffany were born for porn and delights in nothing more than the feel of a hard dick buried deep in her throat. (And by the way, if she is reading this, I would love to prove, or disprove this theory any time you say.) The blowjob in this scene alone is worth the price of this disc. My God, what a perfect porn performer. Hatcher and Morgan, two of porn´s veteran studs, fuck Tiffany with all they have, but it´s clear they don´t have nearly enough gas in the tank to outfuck the gorgeous superstar. Great shots as she rides cock, grinding her hips and using her long legs wonderfully. (and I swear, if she says ´put it in my mouth´ one more time, I´m going to need a towel for my monitor.) After bouncing up and down on Morgan´s cock with her ass, Tiff bends over for Hatcher to bust her butt as well. I don´t know which is hotter, her perfectly shaped backside or the beautiful stream of dirty talk that comes from her mouth as he sodomizes her. As if this scene needed anything else to make me praise it, Tiffany goes back to sucking cock, licking, slurping and stroking both cocks as she begs to be the target for their tangy testicular torrents. At last the rain comes, and it comes down all over her pretty face, bathing Ms. Mynx in jizz and finishing off a scene that is not only the best of this movie, but one of the most erotic three ways you will ever see.
Finally, Max Hardcore returns to direct ´Meeting in Managua´ with Don Fernando ordering a Mexican whore for a private party. Once again, this woman is pretty unattractive, especially after watching Tiffany. I do like her accent and she gives plenty of eye contact while sucking dick. Why on earth Max would bring us Don three times in one movie, I don´t know, but this is the best action of the three. Jezebel has a nice body, so the shots of her fucking are quite appealing, even if she is paired with a tiny dicked, no personality meat bag. The fact that this scene has as much heat as it does, shows that when he is behind the camera, Max Hardcore knows how to direct a sex scene. Nice doggy anal here, though some more Spanish dirty talk would have been nice. The A2M facial is a bit fucked by the slow motion, but still, Jezebel provides more heat that one would have guess at first glance.
Any problems I have with this movie are offset and then some by Tiffany Mynx. More on t her in a bit, but first, the others, Kimi Gee is a super loud anal slut as always. Too bad the blowjob is fucked up by an attack of the pre-vomit monster. Victoria Hill isn´t much too look at, but the setting of the scene is very appealing. Jezebel has a lot more going for her than would expect when just looking at her. The hairy lesbians are great if you like ugly, hairy chicks. If you don´t, you might want to use the chapter search and just skip this scene. (Which was well shot by the way.) Now, the single reason to watch this disc. Tiffany Mynx looks fucking amazing. (This must have been right before she went contract with Elegant.) Her scene is well shot, sexually smoking and downright dirty. Great oral, great anal, great fucking everything. So, if you´ve been waiting for hard-core shit on DVD, you get a lot of it in this movie. The transfer is awesome, so the picture and sound are brilliant. More titles like this and the raincoaters will be invading their local consumer electronics store for DVD players.
Copyright © Roger T. Pipe |
Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM
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| The Spear's Movie Review (1) |
| The Spear's Rating: | | |
Starring: This video starred Kimi Gee, Victoria Hill, Tiffany Minx, Don Fernando and some others in a very hot sampling in this vignette series. Except for Don Fernando the performances are in general pretty good.
Not the best but not the worst either.
Some scenes are erotic and others reek of the BS that porn seems to exhibit these days.
In the opening scene Kimi watches Don play pool and make a number of shots that gets her turned on. Here we see Don at his worst. The guy can't "act cool" to save his life. He really shouldn't try to act but just go with it. Anyway the sex that follows includes a lucky 3 ball, Kimi vaginally and anally penetrated and her ass goes into spasms as Don lets the sperm fly. Pretty hot coupling even after the stupid opening set up.
Next are what appear to be to real lesbians playing teacher and bad student. Both are pretty and this scene also features an abundance of pubic hair, rare these days.
Don is back in the following scene with Victoria Hill. She looks like a chunky and more slutty version of Brittany O'Connell. In "Rectum Wrecker" (This scene and NOT the subtitle of this movie) she and Don screw by the oceanside above some wrecked cars. And yes she takes it up the. . .
Tiffany is in the "Dear Puritan" scene and does the two gardeners. Another fake, contrived, wholly unbelievable setting up to some otherwise very hot sex. Tiffany can still screw with the best of them and her ass still looks great!
The finale has Don again in Nicaragua with some local hot working girl and he takes her back to his hotel for a screw.
The girls, pretty even though most have been seen elsewhere and looking better. Victoria is abit too chunky for my liking but there is something about a chunky chick taking it in the backdoor. Kimi has looked better and less stupid in others. Tiffany looks great as usual, but the lesbian scene and the final with their sense of reality were what I liked best.
Don Fernando's attempt at acting "cool". The "geek that gets lucky" is much more believable.
Kimi's twisted gaze while he shoots is another. Someone should have edited that out.
Aside from my criticisms this is an 8. Very watchable and given the all around errors with the title and the set ups, the viewer looking for hot sex won't be denied.
Posted By The Spear, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/12/06 1:58 PM
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| Steve DiMurio's Movie Review (2) |
| Steve DiMurio's Rating: | | |
I had the extreme displeasure of reviewing this entry in an apparently ongoing series of "video magazines" made for DVD. If you look up "skanky" in the dictionary, many of the cast of this video have their pictures there. Of course, there's always a market for even the most skanky, so, unless you like trolling the boulevards trying to find that "perfect" $10 hooker, I suggest you pass on this title entirely. And if you are on of those people, I suggest you read on.
Puritan Video Magazine is made up of five segments, each with their own low-end raunch. The first, "Pool Shark," features an Asian girl whose sole ability is to have a billiard ball inserted into her vagina. Now, if you like this sort of thing, then you'll love this sequence. But this not-so-young chickie looks straight out of Central Casting for a "me so horny Mister G. I. " Vietnam-era film, and speaks English about as well as an Abba song.
Here's a hint, Puritan: don't distract me with women who can barely say "I so much want-a you dick" - just gimme the action.
The second segment is cleverly entitled, "Furious French Lesson" and features two hairy "co-eds". Now, one may be a co-ed, but the other could be the co-ed's mom (which, by the way, I also thing there's an audience for).
I'm not into hair, but the lesbian sex is so poorly done with no real (or even well-pretended) passion that this sequence left me limp. Of course, if you are into hairy chicks, you may like this one.
Next we've got "Rectum Wrecker", literally filmed on the side of the road to Ensenada. First off, who thought this was a romantic locale? You can see cars driving by on the highway as this ugly guy pounds a somewhat fatty girl's ass. Yuck!
Lastly, there's "Meeting in Manauga" [sic]. I don't need geography or geopolitical lessons here, just give me sex! More anal sex, now on a yacht. At least this girl is about 80% cuter than everyone else on this DVD.
Overall, this title looks like it was shot by either a bunch of middle-aged conventioneers in Mexico. Either way, the hand-held video, crappy lighting, bad locations, poor sound and boring sex make this a title worth skipping. Besides, if you're going to spend your hard-earned dollar on an adult DVD, why not get something worth watching with women and men who look better than you do with their clothes off?
Oh, and the DVD "features"? Try "bios" on the cast (so embarassed were they by their involvement in this little student film that they don't even use their real names) that provide you such insights as "Trixie: Loves to take it up the ass. " Give me a break!
Posted By Steve DiMurio, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/12/06 1:58 PM
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